There have been far too many sissy sports allowed into the Olympics, and personally, I’m weary of it. I say it’s time to beef up the agenda a bit with a few more MANLY sports. Here are some suggestions.
- Hitting other MEN in the face as hard as you can until they fall unconscious. Oh wait, they already have that sport.
- Throwing truck tires over a building—an activity popular in the deep south among MEN named Bubba.
- Murdering animals—a perennial favorite of MANLY MEN who live in wooded areas.
- Drinking so much so fast you throw up—quite popular with the college crowd.
- Projectile gas-passing.
- Crashing cars.
- Finally, for the more intellectually inclined MANLY MEN: marathon cussing.