A couple of years ago my wife and I heard a lecture on science and the Bible that revealed some new truths. Fortunately, I took notes. We learned:
- The entire universe is made out of science.
- Einstein invented dynamite. Einstein later helped to develop the atomic bomb, but when he realized what he’d done, he wished he’d been a shoe salesman instead.
- Zoologists are working on developing anallergic cats , i.e., cats that people are not allergic to. Suzy wrote on my notepad: “These new allergy free cats have one negative side effect — they eat small children for lunch.”
The next morning I learned that this story was true. Score one for for the speaker.
- Years ago it was unthinkable that men would ever be able to walk on the moon, but now lots of people have walked on the moon. It’s practically an everyday occurrence. (The actual number of moonwalkers is twelve, in six different Apollo missions, the last of which was in 1972.)
- First he said “astromy,” then “astromony.” In between he also said “astronomy,” so I guess he gets credit for one out of three. With that average, if he was a major league hitter, he’d be a Hall of Famer.
- It boggles the mind to try to explain creation. Based on the “science” we’d learned in this talk, this is certainly a true statement.
- Archaeology is where you go dig in your back yard and say: “What’s this? An arrowhead?” And then you find a whole bunch of them and discover a whole melding (!) pot of them, and figger out a whole tribe lived right under your back porch.
- They’ve figgered out a galaxy is 100,000 light years.
- Botany is the making of plants. Like, you take a tree trunk and you drill a hole and stick in some other kind of branch, and another kind in another hole, and so forth. Then you seal up the holes with tar, and you have a tree with one each of all differnt kinds of fruit on it. That’s botany.
- Anatomy is melting down the body to see what it’s made of. Bromides and stuff like that. (Bromides!!!???)
- Archaeologists dig down about 40 feet — about the same as the height of the average lamp pole.
We left wondering how many people left having their faith in the Bible’s truthful representation in matters of science strengthened. If nothing else, they were certainly entertained.